How to be a Heartbreaker

For Livia, on her birthday. - Juliet

This is how to be a heartbreaker,
Boys they like a little danger.
We'll have 'em falling for a stranger, a player
Singing I la-la-love you.
- Marina and the Diamonds
___

Rule #1: You’ve gotta have fun.

“Last chance,” James said over the rim of his red SOLO cup.

Sidney looked across the kitchen, into the living room and the seemingly impenetrable gaggle of girls with summer tans and tank tops, dancing to whatever pop song he couldn’t identify.  A flash of brightly-dyed red hair revealed her spot.  She was out there, he was in here.  Story of the summer.  

“You’ve gotta, bro,” Nealer continued.  “Can’t waste a whole summer.”

Sid knew his teammate was right.  End of summer meant the end of any kind of anonymity he ever had.  End of summer meant the start of hockey, and once the spotlight clicked on there was no escaping the glare.  He’d die without it - didn’t know himself otherwise - but that just made time off more precious.

“It’s not like she’s...,” James paused, restructuring his idea to be the least offensive.  “It’s not like she’s gonna say no.”  Below that mop of dark hair that he never washed, James’ eyebrows were raised.  It didn’t need to be said.  Sometimes just reminded.  And Sid hated to be reminded.


“She’s had all summer too, you know,” he said sourly.  Why did he always have to do all the damned work?  And how was he supposed to do anything when she was always laughing, surrounded by people, the life of the party?  

Relieved to have kicked the bear and escaped, James slugged Sid on the shoulder.  “You had to pick the one girl in the world who plays hard to get.”

James left Sidney standing there, nursing a beer and a grudge that somehow three months had gone by and he’d made no progress.  Made no move.  It was entirely unlike him not to go after his goals.  Just for once he’d like a goal to come in search of him.  But those weren’t goals, they were pleasant distractions with sun-bleached hair and warm, tanned skin.  They were pretty, and pretty easy and there were far too many of them to take even one home.  Well, maybe one.  It hadn’t been his home anyway.  But for every hundred of them there was only one of her.

Livia was dancing.  It was, in fact, her favorite thing in the world.  The mindless pop music was everything that summer should be - silly, fun, energetic.  The break from studying fine arts at university had been much needed and she had taken advantage of every opportunity, save one.

He wasn’t an opportunity so much as an obstacle.  Something to conquer.  Something to achieve once and live off the memory for a good long time.  Because that’s all it could be - brief, fleeting.  Sure he’d ruin her for every other man.  She’d peak at twenty years old.  But judging by the way he leaned against the kitchen counter with his massive bicep in full flex, he would be worth it.

Or would he?

Livia wasn’t the short-term type.  She wasn’t into flings.  Nor was she into the fight she’d get for her trouble - friends would turn on her and fur would fly.  He was a prize coveted beyond comparing.  At the beginning of the summer, every girl was resolved to wait for him.  Weeks passed and he did nothing, some girls fell early for his friends.  The first time his hockey teammates came to town, they eliminated more than half the competition in a weekend.  Sidney Crosby did not do sloppy seconds.  In fact, he didn’t do anything at all.

Neither did Livia.  She was fine on her own - this was her summer, and she was going to own it.  If he wanted it, he could come and get it.  A little hard work might just turn him on.

Three months passed.  Every party, every weekend.  They were friendly but not friends, an invisible barrier keeping them from getting any closer than a casual conversation in mixed company.  Even then she was thinking about his mouth and he was thinking about the using it to trace the tattoo on her collarbone.  But no one took that first step.  So Livia had a fantastic summer and Sidney was becoming a bittersweet case of ‘what if.’  That was okay, she liked the poetry of it.  And three months of admiring him was not exactly time wasted.

As the crowd moved to the beat, she caught glimpses of him still in the kitchen.  The house party, one of a hundred matching nights, was full of people cramming in their last hurrahs.  In two days she would leave for school.  Sidney would leave for whatever multi-millionaire superstar athletes do before their seasons begin.  But right now he was making every girl in a mile radius jealous of a bottle every time he pressed it to his full, flushed lips.

“You’re staring,” Jenny said.  “Will you put that poor boy out of his misery already?”

“Oh yeah, poor Sidney Crosby.”

“You know it’s a sin to let him go all summer without getting laid,” Jenny insisted.  “And completely anti-Canadian.  It’s practically an act of terrorism.”

“I’m sure he’s had fun,” Livia said sarcastically.

Jenny rolled her eyes.  “Right.  Liv.  Be serious.  If any girl in had gotten past those pants, you’d know the location of every freckle from his belly button to his knees.  You - we would all - know every. single. detail.  You can’t seriously think someone here got that and kept in quiet.  And no one has mysteriously disappeared.”

She had a point.  If anyone got with Crosby, it would be Radio Free Canada, reporting live.  Livia stole another glance at the cotton of his sleeve stretched taut around his arm.  It was just a t-shirt.  It wasn’t fair that he made it look like body paint.  Of course, every girl within a mile radius had noticed too.

“I’m right here,” Livia dropped into her usual defense.  “He knows where to find me.”

Instead, Sidney peeled his eyes from the throng of people in the living room and went outside.  It was quieter.  Humidity dulled the edges of the light that spilled from the windows.  Condensation ran down his beer bottle and pooled between his thick fingers.

Livia.

He would kick himself back in Pittsburgh.  It would be a long time before he got another chance at something so... not easy.  She wasn’t easy.  If she were, this would have been over long ago.  She was the one low-hanging fruit he’d have allowed himself the sweet taste of this summer.  Of course, she was at the top of the damned tree and he never had the nerve to climb.  But she was here, and he was here - no sponsors, cameras, parents or coaches, no one breathing down his neck to perform and produce.

James’ words echoed in his head.  Last chance.

All summer long he’d been paralyzed.  Sidney hadn’t even been very nice to her, opting instead for polite and reserved because he was so afraid of saying the wrong thing.  With most girls he didn’t get to say anything all except “no thanks.”  Livia was different in other ways too - she was exotic with her wide eyes and Chinese heritage.  She was brash with her dyed hair, her nose ring and tattoos.  She was sarcastic and funny and seemed completely at ease with herself.  It made Sid’s mouth water and it made his stomach drop.

Livia saw him leave the kitchen.  She should have gotten a fresh beer sooner.  But at least it was a break for feeling his eyes on her skin like a feather - inconstant, teasing.  Sexy as hell.  She fished a bottle out of the fridge and offered it to Jenny.

“He’s outside,” Jenny toasted toward the sliding glass door.

Sure enough, there was Sidney Crosby’s celebrated outline.  He faced out over the dark back yard.  The pockets of his pants hugged over the shape of his backside in a way that made both girls sigh.  His t-shirt fell into folds at his waist, against the narrower v-shape of his torso.  There was no fabric to spare where it stretched over his shoulders.  His dark brown hair met the tanned skin of his neck in an impossibly perfect line.

“Fuck,” Jenny said under her breath.

The sight made Livia’s heart sick.  He was perfect.  Beyond the hype of Sidney Crosby - his hockey skills, ability to leap tall buildings in single bounds, solve world peace and save humanity - he was simply perfectly formed.  It was unfair to get all that.  And yet Livia thought he seemed a little lonely.  Probably because she’d spent all summer waiting instead of talking.

She took a step toward the door.

“What are you... oh,” Jenny’s mouth fell open so hard Livia could hear it behind her.  “Oh!”

Livia waved Jenny away with one hand, and reached for the door handle.

Sid didn’t turn.  He heard the door shush open along its track, the noise of the party pour out before being stifled with the metallic click of closure.  Even after a whole summer with these people, there was always someone who wanted his attention.  He never got more than a minute alone.

“Hey,” she said quietly.

That got him.  Sid spun on a heel then froze.  Livia smiled at him, making her way to the porch railing about three feet away.  She leaned her elbows on it, a perfect fit at her 5’ 4” height.  He had a full view of the tattoos on her arm and the one on her back, disappearing beneath the back of her black tank top.  The perfectly formed, graceful lines of ink made him ache to touch her skin.

“Hey,” Sid managed, which sounded a lot like clearing his throat.

Livia turned her head slightly and caught him staring.  Admiring.  The way she studied a painting to separate out it the ideal pieces that formed a perfect picture.  It only lasted a second.  Sidney’s eyes darted back up to hers but not quickly enough to hide his thoughts.  She squeezed her free hand into the wooden railing to keep from falling.

“Do you want to get out of here?” she asked.

“Uh, I, um, yeah,” he stuttered.  “I... yeah.”
____

Rule #2: Just don’t get attached to anything you could lose.

Sidney drove.  He didn’t say where and she didn’t ask, they sat in the darkened silence of his black sports car and zipped over windy, empty roads.  Before they left the driveway she could have said where they were headed.

He took the wooded access road, an old shortcut around the National Parks guardhouse that collected tolls for the lake.  It was long past closed now and the gate would be shut.  They never blocked this road because tourists never knew about it.  Guys brought girls this way all the time.  Sid never had.

Livia had been there once.

Two miles on, he pulled into the darkest corner of the parking lot.  They got out without a word and walked toward the old playground.  It looked antiquated now - simple swings, monkey bars, one of those spinning things you could lay down on and twirl till you puked.  The grass was worn to dirt from the feet of a thousand kids.  Before them, the endless stretch of lake was gashed in half with a wide white streak of reflected moonlight.  

He went for the middle swing.  Three old rubber seats suspended from chains - his bowed considerably under his weight.  Sidney left her no choice but to sit next to him on either side.  Instead she walked to the picnic table and sat on it, feet resting on the bench.  Livia smiled to herself and the sound of Sidney approaching.  She’d done enough work for tonight.

He knew it too.  How they’d gone from not talking to this, from the party to the porch to the lake, he didn’t care.  She had, with the tiniest effort, solved their biggest problem.  Now it was his turn to solve the next.  Instead of sitting next to her, Sid stopped right in front of her and put his hands on her knees.  He couldn’t remember having ever touched her before.

“I leave in two days,” Sid said quietly.  The night seemed awfully big to fill with words.

“Me too,” she said.

“I didn’t mean to wait all summer.”

“For what?” Livia asked.

Sidney kissed her.  It was exactly what he hadn’t meant to wait all summer to do.  He couldn’t wait another second, because there weren’t many left.  Livia yielded immediately.  With relief Sidney pushed past her lips to finding the warm, soft brush of her tongue against his.

Livia couldn’t decide what was better, his mouth or his arms.  She returned his kiss and grabbed his biceps to stay upright.  Two seconds in and Sidney Crosby was living up to every promise.  His hands slid an inch up her legs, then another.  It had taken three months to get to this point and Livia was through waiting.  She tugged gently at his arms and his hands slid up her thighs to the hem of her shorts.  Against her lips, Sid smiled and helped himself to another inch.  His slightly rough fingertips made slow patterns against her skin.  Livia pushed her hands under his sleeves and felt every curve of the muscle.

Sidney wanted to roar.  He wanted to lay her back on the picnic table and work out every midsummer night’s dream he’d been saving.  He wanted a time machine, so that by the end of of August he’d been doing this for a hundredth time and not the first.  What a waste.

“I’m sorry I waited,” he murmured, moving his mouth along her jaw.

His breath on her neck left goosebumps to her toes.  Livia shuddered.  “I might let you make it up to me.”

Sid’s body rocked but he managed not to groan.  Sexual frustration was a way of life for him.  The promise of relief was almost as pleasurable as relief itself.  “Don’t tease me,” he said.

Livia could have laughed.  She also could have died.  The idea of her teasing him, after so many hot summer nights home alone... maybe she’d been better than she thought.  He deserved a reward, right?  She ran her knuckles gently down his chest, in the valley between his pectoral muscles, and slowly over the shape of his abs.  At his waist, she slipped her hand beneath his poor excuse for a t-shirt and pressed her palm to the bare skin of his side.

“Liv,” he said, bringing his mouth back to hers with a fierce kiss that made her fingers curl and nails dig into his skin.  He pushed harder.  She moved her other hand to hold his waist too, thumbs toward the middle.  With an evil thought she stroked the soft hair below his navel.  Sid growled lightly.

He shouldn’t have brought her here.  He was trying to be polite, non-aggressive, for fear she’d know he’d spent a lot of lonely nights with her in mind and something else in hand.  Now he wished he’d gone for a hotel or at least a bedroom.  Because the headline tomorrow would not be pretty if he got arrested for having sex on a picnic table at a Canadian national landmark.

Sid pulled Livia to her feet, then off the bench so she was standing on the ground.  He was six inches taller and easily twice her weight - moving her was so easy it made his knees weak with desire.  That and the way she pressed her body against his, no room for the angels, and pulled his face back down to the kiss.

Livia barely lasted a second.  Plastered to Sid like a stamp on a letter, she felt every part of his body respond to her touch.  Some more than others.

“Do you want to get out of here?” she asked again.

This time, Sid slipped his fingers between hers and they hurried back to the car.  She wondered if he ever let himself have fun.  Tonight he would, she’d make sure of that.  Because if she was going to be remembered for only one night it was going to be a good one.

Sid drove back the way they came.  Again Livia knew their destination.  She rubbed the back of his neck; Sid purred like a kitten at her touch.  Fifteen minutes later they pulled into the driveway of his big house on the other side of the lake.  He shut off the engine and turned to her.

“The guys are staying here, but they’ll be hours.”  They had left the party pretty early.

She pretended to frown.  “Shame.”

Sid led Livia into the beautiful, comfortable house.  She’d been to a few parties here, recalled which bedroom was his.  Now she was impatient to get there.  Sid turned into the kitchen and flipped on the light switch.

“Want anything?” he went for the fridge, remembering to be polite even as he wiped damp palms on his shorts.  It wasn’t every day he brought a girl home.

Livia stopped at the corner, flipped the switch off and plunged them into darkness.  “No.”

Sid whipped around.  “Thank God.”

She ran up the stairs.  Sid caught her easily and put both hands square on her ass, lifting her past the top two steps so she hit the landing at a run.  Doors flew past until she stopped and turned.  He towered over her, cornered against the entrance to his room.

“Are you going to invite me in?” she asked coyly.

Sid picked her up and carried her over the threshold, reached out one foot and kicked the door closed behind them.
____

Rule #3: Wear your heart on your cheek.  Never on your sleeve, unless you want to taste defeat.

Tumbling and fumbling and struggling out of clothes while laying down with a two hundred pound guy on top of you is not easy, but Livia was managing to do it in record time.  Until Sid whipped off his t-shirt and she forgot everything she was doing and went dead still.

“Wow,” she said stupidly.

“You too.” Sid brushed the back of his hand over the rise of her breast that threatened to spill from the cup of her lace-trimmed bra.  The material was smooth beneath his fingers, the lace raised and her skin supple.  Touching her was like getting every flavor at once.  He drew his hand up her neck and lifted her mouth for a kiss.  Now they were really alone and really together.  

The tattoo on Livia’s collarbone was his first prize.  He’d imagined tracing it a thousand times.  Next her arm, where the bold lines disappeared behind the width of his fingers.  The art on her back would have to wait, but he was satisfied for now.

The button on his shorts opened easily.  Sidney felt the zipper rattle like they were on the beginning part of a roller coaster, clicking over every stop, rising higher and higher toward the big drop.  He held his breath.  When Livia reached the bottom, she dragged her palm slowly back up over the bulge.

“Fuck,” he whispered involuntarily.  Livia pushed her hand down inside the pants this time, just the soft cotton of his shorts between their skin.  He saw her close her eyes.  She bit the corner of her lower lip like he was the greatest thing she’d ever felt, and they weren’t even naked yet.

Livia pushed at fabric and Sid pulled at zippers and fell on top of her, a moment later, the two of them wearing only underwear.  Hers were black, lacy as he grazed over her hip bone.  She parted her legs in the single most erotic thing she’d given him all night: permission.  Sid hovered over her, leaned down with a kiss as he pushed his hand along cleft in her body.

She gasped, stealing his breath.  His huge, warm hand found her thin panties already soaked with desire.  They hadn’t even lasted the drive to the lake.  Now he smiled to find her secret revealed, even though she’d already held his in her hand.  Sidney pulled the material aside and touched the smooth skin beneath.  Livia kissed him harder and lifted her hips.  So he gave her what she wanted: parted her lips and pushed two fingers deep inside her core.

Livia moaned.  She was also trembling as she reached for him. His shorts were impossible to solve from flat on her back, so she settled for rubbing him down absentmindedly while he explored her body until she whimpered.

Sid was losing his concentration.  As incredible as Livia’s body felt, his own body was feeling better.  Or would be shortly.  The soft, expensive material of his shorts rasped like burlap against his erection, tweaking his feverish skin until he was breathless.  Livia made such noises that he never wanted to stop touching her but he was going to lose his mind soon. He dragged her ruined panties off and tossed them over the side of the bed.  Livia arched her back and stripped off her bra, drawing his sticky fingers to the taut, dark pink of her nipples.  She hissed as his touch.

“Come here,” she said, reaching for his boxer briefs.  Careful stretching the waistband as far as it would go, he still flinched when she caught the tip of his dick with the elastic.  Her hand soothed the spot.

“Liv,” he whispered as she wrapped a fist around his cock and drew him out with a long stroke.  He wouldn’t make it through many of those.  The nightstand was just within his reach and he fished a condom out of the drawer.  She snactched it right away, tore it open and unrolled it quickly with two short, heart-attack inducing flicks of her wrist.  Then she moved underneath him and lined her body up.

Livia was redlining.  In her mind this was practiced territory but it real life it threatened to swamp her.  Sidney.  Not just some famous hockey player, but the guy she’d wanted all summer was suddenly real and in her arms.  And her other places.  She would not regret this even if she only got one night.

He didn’t hesitate.  None of that “are you sure” or “we could wait” that she might have expected.  It was clear what she wanted and that he wanted it too.  Three months spent avoiding the truth but they were honest now.

Sid pushed gently, brushing along her slit.  On the next push his tip pressed between her folds.  They looked right into each others eyes as he slowly screwed himself in; a kind of staring contest, until Livia blinked first.

“Am I hurting you?” he asked, frozen.

“Uh huh,” she made a noise between a whimper and a giggle, completely at a loss for what was happening to her body.  “But don’t stop.”

He didn’t.  Sidney could not stop, actually, but he went as slowly as possible until finally there was nothing left, his massive thighs against her ass. “Holy fuck you feel so good,” he panted.  Her body, and presumably the universe, just needed a moment to adjust.  Livia rolled her hips and groaned against his mouth at the pleasure and pain.  He stayed still, letting her move until she was comfortable enough to sigh.

“Are you okay?”

“God yes,” she said, laughing now.  

The laugh died when he stroked for the first time, replaced by sob of breath.  Tears pricked at her eyes.  Still Livia nodded and Sidney made small, controlled thrusts until she stopped grimacing and the arch in her back relaxed.  Then he went a little harder, and a little harder still.  Livia’s lips fell away from his kiss and she moaned.

Thank God, Sid thought.  He wasn’t going to last all night.  Three months of waiting to get Livia into his bed were not really endurance training.  All his blood had drained south and his cock throbbed almost painfully.  Any oxygen reaching his brain was used to keep kissing her and keep himself quiet.  He would have said anything right then - even the truth.
____

Rule #4: Gotta be looking pure.  Kiss ‘em goodbye at the door and leave ‘em wanting more.

Livia couldn’t keep her eyes open, not even to look at the hulk of Sidney’s shoulders and chest working over her body.  She missed the flex of his arms, the pulse in his neck.  When she managed a glimpse, it was at the determined look on his face, which quickly melted into a killer smile when he caught her watching.

“You’re perfect,” she said, ever a gift for the blunt statement.

Sidney put his mouth to her ear.  “You’re perfect,” he whispered, and thrust so hard Livia saw stars.  

He moved like a sports car having the drive of it’s life down a steep, windy road.  Sidney knew when to accelerate and when to slow, how to feel the curves and use the angles.  Livia supposed it was because he knew his body so well, had made it a tool to accomplish incredible things.  Sidney thought it was just because she felt so fucking good to ride.

Three months is a long time to wait.  Soon Livia was breathing hard and digging her nails into the muscular plane of Sidney’s back, steering him into just the right spot.  He did not need to be told twice.  Angling her hips up and using all the power in his huge legs, Sidney stapled Livia to the mattress and held her there, helpless.

In truth, he had to make her come, right now.  Sidney was about to black out with the desperate need.  Every sound that caught in her throat threatened to unglue him.  Every inch of her skin was another pitched battle.  Finally she was gasping and her body started to clench.

“Yes, baby, yes,” he said selfishly.

Livia broke like an egg being dropped to the floor.  All at once, on impact.  Then she was shattered, quivering, spilling.  She cried out but Sidney clamped his mouth down over hers, more shared breath than kissing, and groaned loudly enough to drown her out.  The shuddering mass of his body in her arms made her forget her own orgasm.  He pumped home three times, still full of strength, then collapsed on top of her.

“Ohmygod,” he panted, carefully shifting his weight to the side without really moving.  He didn’t want to crush her.  Livia turned her head, those exotic eyes a little bleary, and smiled.

“Damn, Sid.”

He laughed out loud.  All his tension had drained away, and nothing but Livia and the mattress held him up now.  He felt weightless, flat, run over, and fucking amazing.

“I’m really sorry I waited.”

Livia’s smile turned bashful.  “I could have... done something too.  Not waited.”

“Why didn’t you?”

She made a face of mock indignation.  “Hey, you didn’t either!”

Even with bed head and a little sweat of exertion on his brown, Sidney’s smile was blinding.  “My mistake.”

Livia gave him a soft, intimate kiss.  “Mine too.”

The conversation drifted to other, silly things; nonsense they would have talked about all summer if they’d had the nerve to talk to each other.  They did not talk about them, as a “we” or about what might happen after.  Eventually they fell asleep, tangled together, Sid’s hand resting against the tattoo on Livia’s back.

She woke to the light cheating in around the curtains.  Sidney was still asleep, a giant form wrapped around her, bleeding heat.  It was like being hugged by a St. Bernard with slightly less drool.  And much less clothing.  She shamelessly examined every inch of his body she could see, sadly limited to his arms and shoulders.  And that perfect face, which smiled without opening an eye.

“You’re checking me out.”

“Then lay back so I can see the good stuff,” she said.

Their laughter turned into wrestling which turned into kissing which turned, as it does, into sex.  This time was easier, and quieter, because people were moving around in the house.  Livia swung herself up on top of him, not wanting to miss a moment of seeing him.  Sid threw an extra pillow at the window and succeeded in knocking the curtain open a few inches.  They made love in the broad daylight, just in case there was anything they’d missed last night.

When they were finished, Livia walked naked across his to the shower.  Sidney followed like a puppy.  In the shower they took their time, covering each other with soap and kisses.  They didn’t make it to conditioner before Sidney was hard again, thanks to Livia’s wandering hands.  He was too tall and broad to maneuver her in the small space, so he carried her to the counter, set her down sitting and had his way while her legs wrapped around his waist.  They watched each others eyes and bodies in the big mirror opposite.  This time, Livia made sure Sidney forgot to be quiet.

“You did that on purpose,” he laughed, still panting.  She untangled her body reluctantly.

“You could have at least yelled my name,” she teased.

Sidney helped her down from the counter.  “They’ve been hearing that all summer.”

It was easy to say nothing and hard not to think about it, but they dressed and went downstairs.  James’ head popped up from the cereal he was eating, big grin spreading across his face.  Livia blew him a kiss.  He blushed and went back to his Cheerios.  Kris, on his last trip alone before becoming a father himself, swatted Sid’s huge ass as he walked by.  Flower gave Livia a hug and two kisses, like he’d expected nothing more than to see her emerge from Sid’s room on the last day of the summer.  It was moments like this when Sid missed Jordan, who would have said absolutely the wrong thing and put them all at ease.  

Luckily for him, Livia did that.  She knew the guys had been watching whenever they visited.  She hoped they had been giving him a hard time.  In fact she suspected that she owed one of them for last night happening at all.  But it had, and she was happy, and so she helped herself to breakfast and drank half of James’ orange juice straight from his glass.  He did not complain.

It was nearly noon by the time she made her back to Sidney’s room, as if she had things to collect.  Wearing what she wore over, there was nothing to leave behind.  This was the moment she thought might change things.

Sidney wanted to change things.  He closed the door behind them, less of a kick than the night before, and looked Livia standing empty handed just a few feet from his bed.  One more night?  It was the best he could do.  Or was it?  There was a part of Sidney Crosby that ached to grow up and take control of his life.  The entire thing, including his love life or lack thereof.  Last night he’d jumped ahead to the middle of the book and Sid was fairly dying to find out how it ended.

“Stay,” he said.  

“For what?” she asked simply.  “You can’t ask me this again tomorrow.”

He shrugged those massive shoulders.  “I’m asking now.”

“After that, there’s nothing.”

Sidney Crosby knew when his A game was required.  He moved a little closer, hoping Livia felt the same pull he did when their bodies were in close proximity.  Judging by the way her wide eyes shifted as she held his gaze, she did.  “Last night was not nothing,” he said.

Livia smiled sadly, rubbing her fingers over the taut definition of his abs beneath another useless t-shirt.  “I know,” she said quietly.

Livia hated to say it but another night would make it worse.  Would make it harder.  One night was a fireworks show, an explosion.  A second night, with no prospect of a third, was all fallout and dodging debris.  She’d be sad and she’d be honest.  She’d say the things right now she was barely keeping at bay.

Sidney used one massive hand to easily pull her close.  It slid up her back, lifting her hair from her neck, and settled her close against his chest.  He wasn’t ready for this to be over.  And he was more sorry than ever he’d waited so damned long to start.  A kiss to her forehead was the best he could do to keep from telling her what he really felt: fear, potential, desire, and more fear.

The kitchen was empty this time.  Once they were in his car, Sidney drove straight to her street.  He pulled up in front of her house like a legitimate boyfriend would and hoped her father was peeking out the window.  It was the best he could do for formality now.  

“I’ll be home tonight, if you change your mind.”

She looked so small in the bucket seat of his luxury car, he could hardly believe how scared he’d been of her all summer.  Instead she was something to hold close and cherish, something to protect.  He was realizing a lot of things after it was too late. Livia reached for him and kissed him and closed her eyes.  Then she got out of the car.  Sid rolled down his window.  

“One more night,” he offered again.

Livia shook that bright red hair.  “I already know one night with you is not enough.”
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